Category Archives: self acceptance

My Wish for You, My Single Friend…

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Ok…this is better! I wanted to share this post as I related to it so much, not only for single people but ALL people. Learning to truly love and honor ourselves is perhaps the deepest lesson of being human, and I feel is important for all relationships.

I’m looking forward to the shifts coming to this planet that will have each of us owning and knowing our inherent beauty, worth, deservingness of love and respect. From this knowing, it will flow out to honoring all others and the planet and finally bring peace and cooperation across the world.

Midlife Moments

It was overcast all day

I have a friend who is newly single. I watched as she navigated her break-up with her significant other. I supported her as she went through the initial stages of grief .. anger .. bargaining .. denial … depression … acceptance. I let her talk … and cry .. and vent … and held her in my heart as the fear … that fathomless fear …. of being alone crashed into her world. She is through the worst of the initial stuff and is settling into her single life. I, as a single woman and a writer, seem to her like a guide that can help her to step into being single and have a full life regardless of whether or not that space in her bed is ever filled again. My friend, I may seem like a guide that does it with grace, but know that everything you feel…

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My Passion!

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Photo by Katelon Jeffereys

I chose this photo as it is a Passion Flower.  I wanted to share about what I am passionate about.

I’m passionate about helping bring about a new world of light, love, cooperation, clean air/water/earth and airwaves. I’m passionate about having a light based financial system, debt forgiveness around the world, light based governments in TRUE service to this planet and humanity.  I’m passionate about us finally joining forces with light based ET’s and becoming great galactic citizens.  I’m passionate about every man, woman, child and creature on this planet being valued, cared for, nurtured, healthy, whole, safe and able to express all of their divine nature, gifts and talents.

As I’ve mentioned, things weren’t great for me growing up…maybe financially, but emotionally, health wise, mentally, etc. it was quite challenging.  And yet, that is what led me to my true work as a professional holistic and spiritual healer, knowing that I’m just the midwife, as healing happens THROUGH me and through the person whom I am working with, with Spirit guiding the way. It’s what led me to lead Spiritual ceremony, teach creative music and movement to children, lead public workshops as well as taking workshops to youth, government agencies, non-profits, businesses,  and corporations.

I was able to move myself from years of deep depression and suicidal thoughts to strength, inner calmness, and the courage to take on my now 149 week journey of living on faith and trust. And all the 16+ therapies I learned were ones that worked for me, so I learned them to share with others.

I know this is a challenging time as we transition from the darkness that has held this planet for so long, into a light based world.  There is much we are releasing as at the same time, we are being blasted with so much light and love to move us forward.

I am passionate about helping all of you in any way I can.  Doing my work is so much fun and brings me so much joy. I love digging into my vast tool bag and being guided in what would work best with each of you, to help you make this transition with more ease and grace.

Please check out my website http://www.empowerandbalance.com and check out what is offered there.

For those who are ready to play, I am offering a 20% off special for Sept. for those who follow my blog. Just let me know when you contact me.  There is so much I can offer via skype and by phone.

For those who choose the free stuff, there are pages of stress release/energy medicine techniques with instructions.

Let me know if I can help in any way.

Enjoy these times! We are so graced to live at this time on the planet and to be a part of this amazing transformation.  This morning, while standing in the shower, I could feel my entire body pulsing with energy, each cell vibrating with light as if the physical parameters of my body don’t exist anymore.  It is happening now friends, please allow and embrace it.

Much love to you all, katelon

What Do You Desire?

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I recently read the book “Appetites” by Caroline Knapp. This book is a powerful and honest look at her years living with anorexia, and also dives much deeper into what it is like to be a woman: the roles we are handed, the conflicts with our Mothers and the female role, how society treats and judges women, how we judge ourselves, and how that affects our ability or inability to even acknowledge our appetites/desires, let alone get them met.

I receive numerous emails every day about petitions to sign for political, environmental or social justice causes, so am reminded regularly about how poorly women are treated all over the world: child brides, honor killings, rape, incest, poverty, domestic violence, the sex trade and more. Even in the US there are more women and children killed or abused every day than died in the Vietnam war. Women still earn less than men for the same jobs. Powerful women, political women, still often elicit nasty judgements against themselves for behavior admired in men. The laws in place and proposed to govern a woman’s health and reproductive rights are appalling, with politicians still blaming women for their rapes, and blaming their sexuality as being an issue…the same men who want to have sex with these women?! Feminism may have made some changes in our culture but not many.

Looking at this in a larger more metaphysical way, you can see it in the repression of the Goddess and how healers and medicine women were killed as witches. The female has been vilified in many of the world’s religions. Patriarchy took over and we’ve had wars ever since.

These are some of the things I have worked to change in my private holistic/spiritual healing practice and my social justice activism. But I also see it as a bigger picture because I believe with the ruling elite’s agenda and the cabal basically running this world for so long, ALL people have been kept from truly becoming aware of their deep desires as well as being able to fulfill them. How could any of us do that without balanced, healthy and loved female and male aspects of ourselves?

I loved reading the book in light of the changes now taking place on the planet, as we work to finally and completely oust the dark’s rule, reclaim our “original blessing” and existence as a divine co-creator with Spirit. And I appreciated the private places it led me to as I examined the issues I grew up with about self identity and lack of self acceptance, handed to me by my wounded Mother and Father, and reinforced by a wounded society.

I grew up thin, so was always able to eat what I chose as far as weight goes, but did grow up with various allergies and chronic asthma. So as I moved into my attempt to heal myself, many various diets were explored and battles were waged against foods I craved and yet knew weren’t good for me. My Mother was a wonderful cook and baker, and not affectionate, so baked goods replaced my needed hugs. I’m a baker as well, so this sugar war has been waged over and over throughout the years.

I had one brief bout of anorexia the summer and fall before graduating from college. I had been teaching for a year at my son’s wonderful alternative pre-school but was required to quit that job and teach in a “real school” as a student teacher, in order to receive my degree in education. The upcoming stress of that, and the experience of working within the restrictions of that public school, the knowledge that I was graduating with a degree I didn’t know what to do with and the then requirement to fully support my son and I alone, led me to put weight on for the first time in my life. I had no idea how to respond to that as it seemed to have nothing to do with how much or little I ate, so I just mostly quit eating. By the time I graduated that semester I had given myself an ulcer.

Although I didn’t grow up fat, I was well acquainted with the teasing and judging, at the hand of school mates, for being thin, having freckles, wearing glasses, having asthma and being smart. So the self judging part of childhood seemed to rule my life. I also was quite aware of how others were treated, as my early activism was born. My family was quite critical and that led me to struggle with identifying what I truly desired and left me feeling guilty for wanting anything at all. Both my parents weren’t able to pursue their dreams and my Father didn’t even want to be married to my Mother but remained so under his Father’s rule. So the model of healthy awareness of desires, what would be fulfilling and the acceptance and healthy acquisition of those, was absent in my family. and life.

I am grateful to have tools to use to address all of this now as well as my understanding of how this fits with the bigger picture transformation taking place on the planet. We are all in the midst of clearing out the emotional baggage and limitations that have plagued us for so long. As we move up to higher dimensions and toward ascension only loving, light selves can make that transition. Anything else is too dense. So I welcomed this opportunity that this book afforded me and the healing it led me to do.

Imagine a world where we grow up loving ourselves, knowing our self to be lovable, fully attuned to our body, our sexuality, our desires and the ability and support to pursue the fulfillment of those in a healthy way. Imagine a world where women are honored and respected, and the female aspect within all of us is celebrated and nurtured. I’m excited to live in THAT world! And it starts within us.

What are your deepest desires?

What are you hungry for and perhaps weren’t allowed to have?

What would fill and nurture that most vulnerable part of yourself?

These are great questions to ask yourself.

Please join the conversation and share below, too!

Thanks for reading, thanks for being a part of this world and it’s transformation, thanks for being YOU, wondrous YOU!!!!

Your value is the product of your thoughts…

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In our society, reclaiming our self value can be a long journey. Some cultures and families fully support their children and each other in a way that bolsters self esteem, self worth, self love and self value but many don’t at all.

With how our world has been run by the dark elite for so long, institutions, governments, and religions, were designed to keep people down, feeling devalued and lacking so they could be controlled. So this has been pervasive in our world.

I grew up with two critical parents, school mates that rejected me and devalued me, and that became my norm. In my lifelong quest to heal asthma, I realized how much of the time I held my breath so as not to wheeze, and tried to be as small as possible, take up as little room as I could, so as not to attract any more negative attention. When I did attempt to shine my light it was deemed too bright, so I kept that hidden as well.

My healing process has taken a long time and I’m so grateful for the various healers who helped me and the many techniques I learned to assist myself. This journey to self love and self valuing isn’t an easy quest, but oh so worth it.

The truth of who we are is divine co-creators with Spirit/source. Anything less than that is a lie. We were meant to shine bright and shine BIG! Love is who we are and to keep that covered not only hurts the world but it also hurts ourselves.

The time of the planet is one where we are all being called to reclaim this divinity, this light, this love and fill ourselves up, letting it seep out to the world. Imagine a world with all of us shining bright! Then together we can create a planet of peace, abundance, joy, wholeness.

You are a very valuable part of this creation. I honor you. Shine on dear one, shine on!!!!!

Otrazhenie

From http://www.santabanta.com

Have a wonderful week 🙂 

THE END

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The Feminine Factor – week 4

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I believe this is a most powerful post!
When I was growing up, my Mother would often tell me I was being selfish when I was merely asking for what I wanted, non-material things. So I grew up being the people pleaser, letting people walk on me, take advantage of me. I was often blamed for things I hadn’t done…by neighborhood kids and later friends, friends who believed someone else over me. I have worked long and hard to regain self esteem, self worth and learn how to set boundaries. And…to learn to receive, that it is ok to receive. But this article shows me there is more to do around this topic! Hope you find this article as helpful as it is for me.

The Constant Companions via Aisha North: The Manuscript of Survival – Part 416 « Golden Age of Gaia

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The Constant Companions via Aisha North: The Manuscript of Survival – Part 416 « Golden Age of Gaia.

via The Constant Companions via Aisha North: The Manuscript of Survival – Part 416 « Golden Age of Gaia.

I sometimes just skim this channel’s posts but something led me to read the entire post today and I’m glad that I did, as it really spoke to me.

Since I had remembered past lives since age 3, been walking in and out of other dimensions and interacting with various spiritual beings, I faced much criticism and doctors even tried to diagnose me as mentally ill. My parents kept telling me to “face reality” and I just couldn’t understand why anyone would want to limit themselves so much when what I saw was so much more vast and beautiful.

At age 8, I started exploring other religions, looking for answers. I made my way through the local Christian churches, the Catholic church, the Quaker church in another town, various eastern religions and gurus, a brief exploration of the Muslim religions, the Native American medicine wheel and many other spiritual/metaphysical/new age/new thought churches and groups.

I was looking for something to explain my memories and to create a sense of belonging. Growing up with so much rejection and judgement, I had learned to hide my light, attempting to fit in, but never too successfully. I had weak lungs since birth as my Mom’s doctor took me a month early as a c-section baby so he could go on vacation. So this stuffing my light only served to exacerbate the lung challenges and also led to deep, long depressions and suicidal thoughts, and all of that led to more isolation and rejection.

I felt like this light that I knew myself to be was too bright, too big, and so I just held it in. Then I went searching for a way to fill up that space and become whole again. And many of the answers I sought were a search for a way to heal my physical and emotional body. That led me ultimately back to my spiritual self.

I had also held in my light not just because my family and classmates were judging me for my experiences and my differences but because of a fear that once again in this life I would be harmed for shining my light, like my past life memories had shown me at such a young age.

I’m grateful for my journey through all these various paths, and am just as grateful for finally returning to my truth, that my light is ME, and it is not only ok to shine my light, it is imperative for my health and well being and that of the world.

I know this story might not be “YOUR” story but I bet that some of it is, so let’s hold hands and together step into the greater US, and together we can step up into the higher dimensions and live the life of our dreams!

Shine on brothers and sisters, shine bright, shine BIG!!!!!

Staying True In The Midst Of Other’s Perceptions!

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Throughout this almost year long journey I have been mostly staying in other people’s homes. Stepping into someone else’s home involves stepping into different house rules, perceptions, beliefs, needs, expectations and many of these are not overtly expressed. Some of the places I have stayed I have arranged through bartering my healing therapies, dog walking, cleaning, cooking, and organizing. among other skills. I’m not the best negotiator, as my nature is giving and generous, but my communication is clear, so I have done what I could to clearly and cleanly negotiate an arrangement that honored me as well as the other person. What I often found though, is that although I often give much more than is agreed upon, the other person would often change the agreement mid-stream, demanding more or even turning it around to make it appear that I hadn’t given enough?! This was always a shocking experience to me as I thought all had been clear in the beginning and as I stated, I always made sure I gave more than I had agreed upon.

I have always been a flexible, adaptable person, pretty easy going, and focused on being aware of others’ needs so as to keep things going smoothly. This journey though has led me into homes of hosts with almost OCD demands and house rules that even the most astute and dedicated house guest could not begin to adhere to or even decipher; homes of hosts living in their own words “just this side of disgusting” as far as cleanliness; homes of hosts that were controlling, raging alcoholics, noisy, quiet, outgoing, reclusive, vegetarians, meat eaters, and everything in between. Navigating all of these varied situations in addition to the different climates and cities to smaller towns has been quite challenging and stressful. And yet, I’m sure there has been a reason for this journey.

I know without a doubt that I have brought healing to so many people and areas because my recipients have acknowledged this, and I know that it has brought me healing and helped me stand in my power more and taught me to set better boundaries. Along with all this learning though, questions still remain.

I am presently staying with a warm, generous couple who love God, love Jesus, believe strongly in their beliefs and state that they don’t judge. And yet…..when I offer to do the healing work I have done since childhood, the work I was led to through my spiritual experiences with Jesus, my work is deemed unacceptable. When I have questioned why it was deemed acceptable that Jesus could do healing work and yet my work is deemed questionable, perhaps even coming from the dark, it is explained that ONLY Jesus could do healing work?! And yet, these people believe in prayer and manifestations they have received through this prayer, which is invoking God and Jesus. But healing work that is invoking Jesus and God’s energy that flows through all of us, is deemed darkness.

I feel so sad when I run into this belief system, as in my understanding, this very belief keeps people feeling separate from God, separate from that innate energy and light that Jesus spoke of so often and demonstrated. I try to not take it personally, and even have tried to point out to them how in-congruent it feels for them to state how much they like me and respect me and then deem my work misguided at the least and channeling darkness at the worst, but they just toss that off as untrue. I see that it is their closed minds and yes, hearts, that is keeping them from receiving all that I could be sharing with them, and I feel sad. As I know there are so many people in the world that live life this way, and it feels so small to me.

To be in the midst of these situations with others projecting their issues onto me, some people rejecting what I have to give or deeming it not enough, has certainly toughened me up in a way and helped me be more detached. It has also conversely helped me know my worth more. Some of the places I have stayed have been like sailing through the smoothest of waters and others have been like walking past walls of sand paper! I do trust though that each circumstance is leading me closer and closer to the deeper work that Jesus told me I was do when I was nine.

I thought I’d be doing it much sooner than this, and I’m sure I’ve been doing it somewhat throughout my life. However, there seems to have been a lot of preparation that was needed first and this journey has been that walk through the fire that was necessary.

I know that this part of the journey is almost over. I am grateful for all of it…and very much looking forward to landing in a soft spot of my own!

Letting Go, Releasing…isn’t always easy!

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This is a picture taken of the Green River, in Flaming Geyser park, near Black Diamond, WA. I love the angel wings made by the rocks. It is a good image to remember when you are in the process of letting go of a relationship, habit, belief, situation that you need to let go of and are struggling to let go.

Whether it is because I am a Leo astrologically, and loyal because of that; or part of my occasionally dysfunctional people pleasing ways; or just because I’m human, and we humans seem to cling to the past and to people and things we need to let go of, instead of trusting and moving forward to something better, I often will hold on to old relationships when they are toxic, and have long passed their expiration dates. It is especially hard for me when it is someone I am very close to, had some wonderful times with and still love. But as I progress further on my spiritual path, I’m learning that the more I honor myself, the more I learn to love and respect myself, there is no room in my world anymore for people that don’t treat me well, or don’t want me in their lives.

Often I had friends who consistently treated me badly, and I’d make excuses for them, attempt to stick up for myself…sometimes poorly and unskillfully, sometimes with grace, and still keep them in my life, accepting their excuses and the few good things they threw my way at times. I see now how this set me up to attract other similar relationships.

I’ve also seen how my tendency to assume full responsibility for everything in my life, led me to accept responsibility for what wasn’t even mine. As a child, I often got punished for things I was accused of in the neighborhood, things I hadn’t done and my Father would believe others over me. So I grew up believing that no matter what I did, it wasn’t good enough, nor was there any way to protect myself, as my parents surely weren’t standing up for me. This led to quite low self esteem. So others could treat me badly and I’d just go back for more, blaming myself for their behavior.

I’ve worked for years to heal this and regain my self esteem. This almost 10 month journey of mine has been providing the finishing touches on this. Staying with so many different people over the months, setting up agreements before moving in and occasionally having the hosts drop those agreements then blame me, and ask me to leave, when I was already doing more than agreed upon, giving more than agreed upon, has been a great training ground to finally end this unhealthy habit of mine and finally and fully claim self love.

I have a particularly close relationship I have grieved over for years, spent a bunch of money on contacting various healers and counselors to help me heal, doing rituals and my own healing and clearing work, going back and forth between acceptance and letting go and then, feeling like if I only did this or that, it would be a good relationship again and I finally got it! And got it BIG, that relationships take two people, that I’ve done all I can do, and to continue to play my dysfunctional game only keeps me from peace and from fulfilling my spiritual purpose. It also keeps me unavailable for other possible loving relationships that will be mutually supportive and loving.

I am learning that you tell yourself or someone else to let go, but until a certain point is reached, it isn’t possible to fully release. I do believe that meditations, rituals, various techniques are helpful, and I have several on my website http://www.empowerandbalance.com  But I believe it is just a point that you finally reach with grace, that allows you to trust enough, love yourself enough, to just let go. And when that moment arrives, the feeling is so clean, clear and sweet as there is now room for true love and peace to flood in and fill you up.

Know that there is much support all around and within you for assisting you in this release process. And after you let go, you will have room to bring into your life and heart what you truly desire, relationships and situations that truly honor and uplift you.

Love, katelon

The Odd Life of Timothy Green – Glen Hansard “This Gift” – YouTube

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via The Odd Life of Timothy Green – Glen Hansard "This Gift" – YouTube.

I just watched this movie on Sunday night and loved it. The message of hope, dreams, possibilities and not giving up were messages I needed to have delivered to me that day. I was still reeling and healing from a challenging three weeks in my latest living situation on this several months journey I’ve been on. That situation ended in the host verbally attacking me, as has been her history with anyone staying in her home. I wouldn’t have stayed there but a spiritual friend recommended it, and I was able to offer healing for her and her son. I learned though that I don’t need to place myself in such situations anymore. I was proud of myself for staying calm, sending love in the midst of it, letting her know I heard her and not taking it personally. But I am definitely finished with allowing this kind of behavior in my life.

When things like this happen and it challenges my survival leaving me quickly looking for another place to stay, I know that I am always taken care of and trust that I will be led to where I need to be next, but it does place a shadow on this journey of mine to take my healing work on the road and follow the guidance that is leading me to my long held and promised mission. To have received this mission 52 years ago and to keep my faith has been occasionally difficult. There have been times I have asked God to either fulfill this mission for me or take it from my heart, when it moves into feeling like a burden. But then I end up in a conversation with someone and share my passion for this mission and my enthusiasm is renewed.

I mostly trust that all that has happened between the birth of this mission and now has been preparing me to fulfill it and yet, there are moments when I become impatient, frustrated and doubt creeps in, leaving me wondering if it will ever happen. So after events like this recent attack, it takes all I have to keep on moving forward and not just tuck my tail between my legs and head back to where I left last November.

This sweet movie is about a couple who desperately desire to have a child but are unable to and they decide to take one last night to dream of having that child and what he would be like. But it also is about a town in the midst of what many towns are undergoing right now as factories shut down, jobs are lost and the citizens of that town attempt to scrape a life together in the ruins. The movie is about never giving up, stepping out of the box to discover new solutions, it is about hopes and dreams, allowing yourself to be different and celebrating that difference. The song beautifully echoes those themes.

As old paradigms, institutions and governments crumble and we move into a new way of being, it is important to let go of the old ways and open to a new way of doing things and being. It is easy to feel fear, or doubt, as the stress of change shakes our foundations. I believe the solution is to focus not on what is leaving but rather to focus on how you would like to be and live instead.

What would you like your body and life to be like? What can you imagine for a new world? How would you like to contribute? What makes your heart sing? What dreams did you have as a child that might be just the thing for you to do and be now? How much love can your heart hold and give? How much better can it get?

I encourage you to dream big and feel the gift that the dream is for you, as it pulls you into a magnificent future. We are the creators of this new earth. What would you like to create if you had unlimited resources, time and energy? What contribution would you like to make?

Let us join together and celebrate these dreams as see a new earth form around us that makes our hearts sing!
Please share your dreams and ideas in the comment section. I support you in achieving them.

Unleash Your Power

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I didn’t watch the video but did read this blog, my feelings are that now is the time on the planet for us to finally own our power. I remember and believe in past lives and I feel that we’ve all done great good in other lifetimes and were tortured and killed for doing so, which has kept us afraid of doing our real work this time. We’ve also done harm in other lives and thus, again, have felt afraid of our power, afraid we’d use it for harm again.

In the bible, Jesus demonstrated power in his situation with the fig tree, cursing it and then it couldn’t bear fruit anymore. He told his disciples that they, too, had this power and could use it for harm or good.

I believe that this power is our God given ability to create, and the world is crying for all of us to accept this power, and direct it for good use in our lives and for the world. To deny this, not embrace it, is to turn away from the power of God within each one of us to create a better world.

The past several days I’ve been using techniques for clearing found in the recent Maureen Moss article I posted as well as another article, techniques for breaking old agreements and for letting go of old stories. Throughout our lifetimes we have these agreements we’ve made with life and others, and these often remain on an unconscious level, playing out in disharmony in our relationships, bodies and situations. The same is true of the stories we have told ourselves lifetime after lifetime, year after year. It is time to love these all free, break the old agreements, shift the old stories and emotions into new more supportive and uplifting ones.

There are many techniques out there to assist you in this process, and some on my website http://www.empowerandbalance.com, too. If I can help you in any way, with the various therapies I do professionally, please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you. It is time for all of us to create lives and bodies of wonder and joy!

Seriously Tripping Through Life

Once when I was a kid, I was riding in this old blue pick up truck with my mom’s former boyfriend, Chico.  From the beginning of his relationship with my mother, Chico took to me like I was his blood son.  Even after they were no longer together he would pick me up and take me out to his job sites and let me earn a little money.  So on this particular day we were working on a fence in this well-off neighborhood in VA Beach–an area where a truck like his would look out of place.  As we were driving back to the site, these teenagers pulled up beside us and started screaming and calling his truck a piece of junk.

Now, I loved Chico.  I still love Chico.  So when those boys screamed at him something ignited in me.  I could feel myself focusing my sights directly on…

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