Category Archives: self growth

The movie “The Way”, pilgrimages and journeys!

Standard

I recently watched the movie “The Way” and loved it. I had read an article quite awhile ago interviewing Emilio Estevez, the writer, director and co-star in the movie, about the process and working with his Dad, Martin Sheen, the star of the movie. So I was already intrigued. I had also read a book by Shirley Maclaine about her journey on the El Camino de Santiago, and was inspired and fascinated by this journey. The movie focuses on Tom, played by Martin Sheen, as the stoic and traditional father, who finds out his lost son has been found dead, dying just as he had started this pilgrimage. Tom decides to journey the El Camino and spread his son’s ashes along the way. It is a rare emotional decision for him, and his impulsive decision brings him much more than he had envisioned when he started on the way. It is a movie of grief and loss, as well as discovery, friendship and transformation. It is beautiful in it’s unfolding as well as in the luscious scenery.

As I do with most movies, I looked at each character and inquired what I held in common with them and where we were different. Unlike the main character, I would not have been tight lipped like he was, as I am known for my open sharing, but I could relate to his anger, grief and unknowing as he wondered about his son’s whereabouts, felt the pain of their estrangement, and then his anger, grief and loss when his son was found dead. In truth, I am much more like his impetuous, leaping, restless son, Daniel; but you see, I, too, have lost a son, not to death, but to estrangement.Although, like Daniel, I am the one that has leaped into adventure throughout my life and recently on a now 11 month journey of faith.

I looked at the kind and talkative character, Joost, and saw my golden retriever self who assumes that everyone wants to talk to me, know me, be engaged. I looked at the angry, defensive, wounded character, Sara, and saw the me that I have been healing along this journey, as I attempt to make sense of the loss of past relationships and dreams. I looked at the character of Jack, the verbose writer, living out a life much smaller than he had dreamed of, and see how much I have limited myself for way too long.

In watching this movie I realized that I, too, have been on a pilgrimage, not spreading physical ashes of a cremated son, but certainly spreading metaphoric ashes of my past and the relationships in it, as I have revisited many of the towns and places where I have lived, traveled to, or hiked. It was that giving up hope and attachment to my past relationships that was the last step for me, letting go of those last ashes in the bottom of the bag, knowing that this is it, the end…and letting them go in the wind.

It is fitting that I am ending this journey in San Diego, CA. as this is where I spent so much time as a child and adult, vacationing with my family, and then later with my Mom and/or my son. And this is where I spread my Mother’s ashes in Nov. 1999, on my way back to Seattle, where I was living with my son, moving there in Oct. 1998 after leaving Colorado. And here I am finishing this journey in San Diego now, before heading home to Colorado, going full circle. Now, like Tom in the movie, I need to stand next to the ocean, reach down in my bag, and gather the last vestiges of my past relationships and life; gather my long held dreams of the future; and finally and firmly throw these ashes to the wind and the water, letting go and saying goodbye to what was, honoring it and making room for what will take it’s place.

I am grateful for the sweet memories I have of my life up until now. I am grateful for the experience of being a single Mom and managing to stay loving and attentive no matter what challenges I faced. I am grateful for the friends and support I’ve had along this pilgrimage. And now it is time for me to leave this funeral pyre and begin my new adventure, alone, yes, but now with room to let others into my heart, my restored and healed heart. Now it is time for me to go home and settle into my new launching pad for future adventures.

So I encourage you to watch “The Way” and enjoy your journey, wherever it takes you. Remember life is to be lived, not something you got stuck in, so live it with faith and enjoy it along the way.

Love, Katelon

Advertisements

THE MIRRORING MIND by @JasonSilva – YouTube

Standard

THE MIRRORING MIND by @JasonSilva – YouTube.

Love this guy’s stuff!

via THE MIRRORING MIND by @JasonSilva – YouTube.

Love this guy’s stuff!

The Odd Life of Timothy Green – Glen Hansard “This Gift” – YouTube

Standard

via The Odd Life of Timothy Green – Glen Hansard "This Gift" – YouTube.

I just watched this movie on Sunday night and loved it. The message of hope, dreams, possibilities and not giving up were messages I needed to have delivered to me that day. I was still reeling and healing from a challenging three weeks in my latest living situation on this several months journey I’ve been on. That situation ended in the host verbally attacking me, as has been her history with anyone staying in her home. I wouldn’t have stayed there but a spiritual friend recommended it, and I was able to offer healing for her and her son. I learned though that I don’t need to place myself in such situations anymore. I was proud of myself for staying calm, sending love in the midst of it, letting her know I heard her and not taking it personally. But I am definitely finished with allowing this kind of behavior in my life.

When things like this happen and it challenges my survival leaving me quickly looking for another place to stay, I know that I am always taken care of and trust that I will be led to where I need to be next, but it does place a shadow on this journey of mine to take my healing work on the road and follow the guidance that is leading me to my long held and promised mission. To have received this mission 52 years ago and to keep my faith has been occasionally difficult. There have been times I have asked God to either fulfill this mission for me or take it from my heart, when it moves into feeling like a burden. But then I end up in a conversation with someone and share my passion for this mission and my enthusiasm is renewed.

I mostly trust that all that has happened between the birth of this mission and now has been preparing me to fulfill it and yet, there are moments when I become impatient, frustrated and doubt creeps in, leaving me wondering if it will ever happen. So after events like this recent attack, it takes all I have to keep on moving forward and not just tuck my tail between my legs and head back to where I left last November.

This sweet movie is about a couple who desperately desire to have a child but are unable to and they decide to take one last night to dream of having that child and what he would be like. But it also is about a town in the midst of what many towns are undergoing right now as factories shut down, jobs are lost and the citizens of that town attempt to scrape a life together in the ruins. The movie is about never giving up, stepping out of the box to discover new solutions, it is about hopes and dreams, allowing yourself to be different and celebrating that difference. The song beautifully echoes those themes.

As old paradigms, institutions and governments crumble and we move into a new way of being, it is important to let go of the old ways and open to a new way of doing things and being. It is easy to feel fear, or doubt, as the stress of change shakes our foundations. I believe the solution is to focus not on what is leaving but rather to focus on how you would like to be and live instead.

What would you like your body and life to be like? What can you imagine for a new world? How would you like to contribute? What makes your heart sing? What dreams did you have as a child that might be just the thing for you to do and be now? How much love can your heart hold and give? How much better can it get?

I encourage you to dream big and feel the gift that the dream is for you, as it pulls you into a magnificent future. We are the creators of this new earth. What would you like to create if you had unlimited resources, time and energy? What contribution would you like to make?

Let us join together and celebrate these dreams as see a new earth form around us that makes our hearts sing!
Please share your dreams and ideas in the comment section. I support you in achieving them.

Choosing a path that enlivens and inspires!

Standard
     I have long been fascinated by the description of “little” people that appeared in children stories I read while growing up.  I remember books that were similar to Gulliver’s travels, and loved this vision of a place where the people were tiny. In one of  Madeleine l’ Engle;s books, she had a brother and sister traveling into their younger brother’s mitochondria to fight the forces of good and evil to save his life.  There was an entire series of books about a tiny Indian who lived in a cupboard and he would come to life.  So of course I enjoyed the movie “Toy Story” and it’s portrayal of toys coming to life. 

      Recently I read Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, “The Mastery of Love”.  There is a chapter in it about learning to love yourself and your body, including stopping the negative self-talk that goes on about various body attributes and parts that we may deem unattractive, unacceptable, or ill.  In it he says “For all those living beings that are your cells, you are God”.  In reading that, my imagination conjured up these various groups of cells creating religions, statues, beliefs and commands based on the “God” Katelon!  I began to examine if I thought I was being a kind and loving “God”, inspiring health and wellness, or was I being a judgmental and critical “God” leaving these cells feeling dejected and distressed?

     I have been into a personal growth path for most of my adult life, so I have been conscious of the importance of loving your body and sending it healing, happy thoughts. But I had never looked at it to this extent and through the lens of my cells worshiping me, looking to me for guidance and direction.

    Then, being the activist that I am, I started wondering what would happen if my liver cells chose to create a fundamentalist religion, thus condeming the religion and view of God that my stomach cells might have?  What would happen if all my various organs, glands and systems all chose to have a different belief about the “God” that I am, and how they should operate as cells, and then chose to fight the other organs, glands and systems, having their own “religious” wars?  Wouldn’t that be cancer?  Is that perhaps what allergies are and other auto immune diseases, the cells in our body deciding that another part of it, or something outside of it is harmful and against it’s “religion”?  

    It seems to me that this is also true of the body of this world, this planet, this collective humanity we are part of.  When we get caught up in fighting over whose God is true and right, whose way is the “right” way, we create these wars that destroy these various parts of humanity and weaken the “immune”system of the world as we tear apart families, communities, countries and lands.

     Reading “The Mastery of Love” reminded me that love is the power and directive that I choose to use to live my life, and that includes how I want to relate to my body…with love, acceptance and cooperation.  This is true of the world I envision as well…a world where cooperation, harmony and acceptance supports healing of all facets of this creation.  It is up to us to decide what kind of “God” we choose to be,  one that inspires death, disease, and destruction or one that inspires cooperation, health and life?   


Katelon T. Jeffereys

www.empowerandbalance.com

Peace? What are you giving and receiving?

Standard

Lotus

Normal 0

As you read this, the US is still mired in wars in the Middle East and the  question still remains for me, Peace?  What are you giving and receiving?  It has long been a belief, and a point of inquiry of mine, that what goes on within us is a microcosm of the greater reality reflected out into the world.  And so, along with activism, I continue to look within to discover, embrace and heal those places within myself that are at war.  It is my intention, inside and out, to do what I can to embody, give and receive peace in the world. In the ancient text, The Essence Gospel of Peace, it states “ Peace is the key to all knowledge, all mystery, all life.”

19 years ago I was living in a small Northern California coastal town.  My neighborhood reminded me of the powerful novel SOMETIMES A GREAT NOTION, by Ken Kesey.  As I’d take my daily walks through the fogged in neighborhood, I ‘d pass sign after sign impaled in the yards stating, “We support the timber industry”.  The small communities lining the coast embodied the timber/environmental clash so vividly described in that novel. Months before, I had been asked to be interviewed on a local women’s radio show.  The topic I chose was “Inner Healing and how it relates to Global Healing”.  At the time, I was working as a massage therapist in a chiropractors office.  One of my clients was a young man who had moved out from the south to make peace buttons for a local company.  Although his job and his political activism spoke of peace, the extreme tension I felt in his body spoke of an ongoing inner war.  I began to observe this dichotomy in myself and other clients, along with the already divided community.  The day we declared war on Iraq ended up being the day of my interview.  As war broke out in that country, war broke out in my town as the local mayor and city council declared the town a draft free zone.  Opponents stormed the town hall, an enormous American flag was erected upon the approach to town, and all the yard signs were replaced with new ones stating “We support America”…and…. we’re on the air, welcome Katelon to discuss “Inner Healing and how it relates to Global Healing.”

 I felt like I was in the twilight zone and all the mayhem further underscored this study of mine.  There I was witnessing war in the body of this young man, opposing views and near riots in our town hall, SOMETIMES A GREAT NOTION in my neighborhood and bombs dropping across the seas as a TV reporter stood next to a board drawing little x’s and o’s like a football play to explain the loss of life many countries away.

Over the years I have continued to explore this theme as I work to release old limiting patterns of lack, illnesses, and aloneness in myself.  Sometimes I am able to love what is here, or what I perceive to be lacking, embrace the lessons and provide the gift of peace to myself, as I open the space for healing to happen.  Other times I am in the ring, working on my left hook, ready to punch out the offending lack of fruition, career struggle or another Saturday night spent alone.  A few weeks ago this occasional fighting position was literally put in my face as I took a detour to work.  I ended up driving past a 7th grade fistfight in the middle of the road. Because I haven’t seen a fist fight since my 7th grade year, I was left to ponder again Where am I at war in my own being, what am I fighting?  Peace?  What am I giving and receiving?  As I examine this wrestling with my psyche I am seeing it on the outside again, too, as my neighbors, fellow countrymen/women and world members draw the lines and prepare for war.

One of the therapies I do is called, Spiritual Response Therapy (SRT).  In this therapy, I work with a person’s high self to research and clear negative programs, conditioning, beliefs, etc. that are limiting the person and restricting the flow of good through their bodies, relationships and lives.  This work is done using a pendulum, dowsing various charts and connecting with the person’s high self to research the soul’s records.  Whatever needs to be cleared is then identified and with the assistance of the high self and spirit, it is cleared.  The limiting energies are then replaced with positive ones, moving a person out of self-punishment and self-limitation.  Relationships can be researched as well, clearing destructive patterns that can be limiting the relationship and the individuals.  Christ referred to this high self as “the father within”.  Hawaiian Huna refers to it as Aumakua or higher consciousness.  What is seen so often in this work is how much people limit themselves through their thoughts and judgments brought forth from (depending upon your belief system), past lives, genetic codes, world energies, childhood experiences and the entire creative process in itself.  Recently, a man called to ask me to use SRT to “GET RID” of a woman he is in business with.  He explained how this woman was attempting to take over his business and he wanted her gone.  I explained that I’m not a hit man but that I could work with his high self and spirit to clear them and their relationship, allowing for a new resolution.  The work succeeded and the woman called him, with positive news and wanted to get together.  Instead of rejoicing in this turn of events, he was so attached to his anger that he chided me for not getting rid of her.  I felt sadden by his response, yet I was led to look at what I was just wanting to get rid of in my life, rather than be willing to negotiate with, forgive, and create a space for something new to appear?  I had to look at where was I limiting myself? I inquired again, “Peace?  What am I giving and receiving?”

I watch in childlike awe each year as the days get shorter and shorter and darkness descends, leaving sunshine, that I so love, a memory.  And yet, I attune to the surrender of the trees as they gently release their leaves, plants die and seeds are deposited deep in the soil to wait and rest until the light comes again.  Most of the world religions celebrate this return of the light.  I think of Mary, in the Christian tradition, as she gestated a child within, holding that immaculate concept for him as she faced many outer challenges. Certainly, she must have felt the urge to fight, the call to struggle or defend.  I certainly did as I carried my son, and then went on to raise him alone through all the challenges we faced. Don’t we all, whether we are carrying a child, a dream or concept? And, yet, each of us can carry this immaculate concept for our children, our dreams and desires.  Each of us can carry that seed of peace and continue to hold it in our hearts for the world and ourselves.

The days may be dark, the world may talk of war and torture and try to keep us focused on fear and our desires/dreams/challenges may threaten to pull us into an inner or outer war and yet there are methods and therapies that we can use to release this inner negativity and replace it with harmony.  I do believe that we have the power within us to return to love, just as yearly the days grow longer and the light returns.  I do feel that each step we take toward negotiation, dialogue, healing and bridge building within ourselves, our families, our communities, does reach out and effect global change.  So, I encourage you to ask yourselves, “Peace?  What are you giving and receiving?”




Katelon T. Jeffereys
Solares Performance Enhancement Co. 
Bringing you Energy and Balance!