Recently I was talking to someone about a question that I often used as an icebreaker in my workshops. The question was “What is your favorite smell?” I explained that smell is the strongest memory and by remembering a favorite smell, you are transported back to that time, and since it is a pleasant memory, it brings forth the appropriate relaxing positive chemical responses in your brain and body. Thus, remembering a favorite smell becomes a great quick stress release technique, too. I explained that I loved the question as it was not just a great quick stress release tool but it also pointed out how different people had such varying responses to the question and someone’s favorite smell may sound odd or even distasteful to someone else. This encouraged more understanding of others, and pointed out the different perceptions we hold. … And then, my random mind led me to think about Gary Chapman’s five languages of love.
Gary’s Five Languages of Love are:
Words of affirmation
Acts of service
Gary suggests that we usually have one language of love, perhaps two, which are most important to us. So thinking about how different favorite smells are to others, I thought of my strongest language of love, which is quality time and second is words of affirmation and how that was different for my Mom. Her language of love was gifts and they were very important to her. If you didn’t like the gift she gave you, she got angry. And for me, if someone doesn’t like what I give them, it is fine with me, they are welcome to let me know and exchange it for something that they like better, as I’d rather they be happy with something else, if that is their choice. But in my Mom’s childhood experience, gifts were how she knew her family loved her, even though she experienced much abuse from her Father. For her, the abuse was overridden by gifts. She wasn’t very forthcoming with words of appreciation, so throughout our relationship, I was waiting for words of appreciation, feeling unloved at times, and she was there giving me gifts that had less importance to me, and sometimes I didn’t even like them. Then when I didn’t like them, she got angry, so I felt even less loved, as the gift felt to be more about her need than her giving me something that I would value or feel loved by. And of course, the reverse was if I didn’t like the gift, which was her language of love, then she felt unloved. What a mess!!!!
One time I was complaining to a massage therapist of mine that the man I was dating was inattentive. She asked me “What does attentive look like to you?” She explained that I might be waiting for chocolates and flowers and he might be out there changing the oil in my car, feeling like he was truly expressing his love for me, leaving us both feeling misunderstood and unloved.
So I invite you to look at this question of what language of love feels most important to you as a way for others to show their love to you. And at the same time, I invite you to take note of the people in your life you care about and see what their favored language of love is and see if you are responding in a way that is important to them and clearly demonstrates to them your love for them.
During this time of transition on the planet and within us, I feel that love truly is the most important support we can garner. Love for ourselves, love for others, love for the process. So I feel that the more astute we can be about how we look for love within ourselves, in our relationships, seeing how we can better support ourselves and others and how others can better support us, the easier this transformation will be. Nurturing is so important right now. The energy coming into the planet is so intense, and the process we are in has been so long coming, many of us are feeling quite weary and our patience and stamina might be stretched to it’s limits. So the more softness and support we can allow within us and around us, and for others, the sweeter our journey.
So what is your language of love? You can go to this website and take a quick assessment: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/ Leave a comment below and let me know!
To support you on your journey, there are several links to guided meditations of mine, on the front page of my website and on the page “More Resources”, and several pages of stress release tools as well. www.empowerandbalance.com
Blessings on your journey,
Katelon T. Jeffereys
Today there is a full moon at 6:37 pm PST. So today and tomorrow, depending upon where you live, there is a huge energy source that you can connect with to support you in releasing what doesn’t work in your body, life, relationships, and belief system. It is also a very potent time to focus on what it is you truly desire instead!!!
So I want to take the opportunity to salute all of you for your immense amount of courage and commitment in coming to the planet for this powerful time of transformation. Whether you believe in all the spiritual and scientific information that is being presented regarding 2012, or not, it is apparent that we are at a tipping point.
We can no longer continue to create our relationships with self and others, health, families, communities, countries and world, based on competition, greed, control, power over others, powerlessness, violence, fear and lack. As I’ve mentioned before, in a previous article referencing the latest book by Bruce Lipton and Steve Bhaerman, Spontaneous Evolution, science is now aligning with much of what the highest spiritual teachers have been demonstrating and talking about for eons. And I am talking about spiritual teachers, not religions, which often have been created to add to the control and distortion of the truth. In Daniel Pinchbeck’s wondrous new documentary “2012: Time for Change”, he references the information from the Mayans regarding 2012, but he goes on to not only inform but put out a call for ALL of us to now commit to taking part in this transformation.
So I am here to remind you that YOU, yes, YOU, wherever you are, whatever you are doing, whatever your circumstances, are POWERFUL right now! You ARE a powerful creator, and aligned with Spirit, God, whatever you are comfortable calling that energy that is at the center of all that is. Whether you remember or believe it or not, you chose to come here to be here now to play your part. The most important contribution you can make involves you claiming that truth, being ALL that you are, waking up to that truth. Your energy is needed now, and however you are led to bring YOU forth, whatever you are called to do, is THE most important thing you can do for you, for Spirit, for the world.
I know you can do it, and I know you have everything you need within you to do it NOW! I know this because you are here NOW! You have survived all the challenges, all the pain, all the betrayal, and all the stumbling blocks in your life so far and your soul has stayed here to be a part of this powerful time on the planet. Isn’t that exciting?!
I have known this information since childhood, as I was given my destiny then. But it hasn’t been easy to carry this information and have much of my life, health, and relationships speak to everything but my destiny! So at times I felt extremely depressed, even emotionally suicidal at times. But in spite of that, and dying twice due to the illness I have carried in my body since age 2, I am still here.
At one point, I was in a co-op in Tempe, AZ, wandering the aisles and feeling frustrated that my “destiny” hadn’t happened yet. Suddenly, a crazy hippie looking guy rushed up to me, looked directly into my face and said “ISN”T it EXCITING!!!!!” I stared at him and asked “What?” He kept smiling and said “Well, all that is happening on the planet now, the transformation that is taking place!” This was in 1992, so there wasn’t all the 2012 talk that there is now. So I was taken aback. But it was a wake up call for me; an angel sent to keep prodding me forward.
It hasn’t been easy since then either, in fact, in many ways it has been more challenging, and yet I finally understand that I wasn’t meant to make my deepest contribution yet because the world wasn’t ready, I wasn’t ready. But the time is NOW!
So I am hear to cheer you on! I believe in you! I know you have it all within you! I know you will succeed! And I truly believe that it is all going to be way beyond what we could imagine. So let’s just be like children jumping onto a water-slide, and let go with a loud whoop of joy, as we let our souls gently, easily, put us in the flow of our good, our path, our destinies! The world is waiting! And it’s going to be beautiful! It is beautiful now!
Thank you for being here, thank you for being you! I bow down to the master that you are right now!
Katelon T. Jeffereys
Just saw this movie! Great documentary that combined info about Mayan 2012 info as well as how to use mushrooms to clean up oil and soil, permaculture, Buckminster Fuller, roof top gardens, healthier ways to build cars and homes, evolving our consciousness, saving the earth and ourselves…us being the change we are praying for…not waiting for something to come and save us!
Katelon T. Jeffereys