Tag Archives: God

Keeping the Faith!

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This planet is going through so much transformation right now, with all the darkness getting flushed to the surface within us and all around us. It would be so easy to just buy into all the fear and believe that all the darkness is the Truth or here to stay. It takes great strength to believe in the light, when all around us might appear dark, but that is the time that our strength and faith is needed the most.

Light is pouring into us and the planet, which can feel unsettling. I used to have very deep depressions, even contemplating suicide at times. It is amazing to me to look back and realize that I don’t go to that place anymore. I still have down days and I have had more stress, betrayal, abandonment, injuries, a tumor surgery, a car accident, some horrible work situations, 3 main moves, a long frustrating law suit, attacks, estrangement from my son (my best friend), …you name it, since Oct. 1999 when my Mom died, the last of my birth family, than in my life up until then. And I’ve presently been on the road for 11 months, now staying in my 25th place. And yes, I have days I feel afraid, days that tears come, like today, days of frustration….but I don’t travel to that dark place anymore because I have filled myself up with so much light.

I have learned that emotions just come and go, thoughts come and go, that I am always connected to source, that good always shines through, that there is always a “plan”, and that in the end, I always end up stronger than before. Sometimes I want to cry “Uncle”, and yet, after all I’ve been through, there remains a curiosity, as I wonder what is next? What solution is going to arise? And something always comes.

So, please, cry when you need to, scream if you have to, and when you are done, fall into your heart and feel that connection with God and your soul, and know all will be well, all is well…and let the light shine!

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Sunny Solstice and Beyond!

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Sunrise to the East

I just noticed I haven’t written a post since the 15th, and haven’t even posted someone else’s post since the 23rd. Settling into my present living situation, gearing up for the solstice and full moon and all that is happening within me has consumed my time and energy.

It is so amazing to look back at this almost 34 weeks of being on the road, staying in hotels, B and B’s and other people’s homes; adjusting to the different beds, kitchens, rules, personalities, expectations, etc. has been quite the experience, challenge and learning opportunity. I was adaptable before this journey and even more so now. I have always carved out a sense of home whether it was in a dorm room, traveling in my car, or living/staying somewhere else, but this experience has pushed that limit, too.

I loved the energies of the Solstice. They were intense but felt so sweet. I fell asleep around the actual solstice on the 20th and even during my dreams, I was commenting on how sweet it felt. The next day was the same. I led a ceremony on the phone with my weekly “intention” partner, as we each shared out gratitudes and intentions for our lives and the world. The weekend was busy but again drenched in powerful energies flowing in and lighting me up.

And, as has been the direction of this long journey, I was led to a local chiropractor yesterday who has led me to some other contacts who have been working to create a wellness center, just like me. My journey, inspiration and guidance for that came 34 years ago and I have worked on it and researched it ever since. These synchronistic meetings are coming faster and faster these days as I can look back and see point A connected to point B, leading to point C, etc. all throughout my trip. Even when I question whether I am listening well enough to guidance, my answer always comes with another meeting and opening.

May you be blessed by this light, as you bless the world with your presence and love! May you feel God’s hands along your path and hear the whisper guiding you on.

Much love to you all!

Journey Orchestrated By Spirit!

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When I left my home in Seattle in Nov 2012, I had no idea what I was going to encounter or how long I’d be on the road before finding home. I envisioned it only being a few weeks or a couple months at the most. I knew I’d always envisioned spending some time on the road being a sort of traveling healer, doing God’s work, but didn’t see it happening as randomly as it has this last 7 + months.

I knew I would be following guidance, as my life is completely spiritually focused now, but I didn’t know that guidance would entail using craigslist often. When I first sat on the computer for hours pouring over listings on craigslist for St. George, Utah, I was chiding myself, feeling like I was cheating and somehow, I was supposed to run into someone and they’d suggest a place for me to go to or stay. But I knew I wanted to see my Navajo daughter and her children in St. George, and so found a B and B to stay in, and trade therapy for part of the cost. I ended up giving the owners 4 long therapy sessions after only agreeing to do one, and it led to other healing work as well. Plus, I was led to tour two resorts I had researched online years before, and make a connection with a man also interested in creating wellness centers/communities like me.

My second place to stay on my journey involved a request on facebook that led me to a cat sitting engagement in Sedona, AZ. My 4th place to stay (St. George being the 3rd), was with a facebook friend in Sedona, AZ. Healing had been involved everyplace I stayed whether it was with my host or people I met along the way and it seemed line the internet was the connector!

At one point I started posting ads on craigslist, looking for places I could stay in exchange for bartering therapy. Again, that led me to a place in Tucson, with me doing regularly healing work on my host as well as others I met there. And then, my ad led me to a couple in Dewey, AZ who owned an earthship. Again, my healing work was needed, as well as house sitting, for them and others I met in Prescott. The connection with them, led me to the man’s mother, who when I then needed another place to stay, led me to my present place and dog sitting in Ventura, CA. And again, more healing is needed, thus delivered.

There have been times I have worried about where I’m going to stay next, when my deeper work that I feel is soon to come will actually come, when I will finally arrive at my home base so I can settle once again into my own home. And yet, looking back at this journey, how one post, one question, one conversation, has led me every step of the way. I can see a higher hand in this journey, feeling my placement where healing is needed for a person, a home, an area; and seeing how all the “dots” are connected, as they lead me to my destiny and home.

And then I wonder how I can doubt or worry at all!!!!!

The Journey Continues and Continues and Continues……

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I’ve been on this journey for over 28 weeks, now packing up to leave my present place, the 13th place I’ve stayed, not including places I stayed for one or two nights. As I’ve written before, I leaped out of Seattle 3 1/2 weeks after making the decision to go, working up until the day I left, managing to sell some things, pack, move storage units, pack my car and head out. I left thinking all I needed to do was make it until the prophesied 12/21/12 shift. I figured by then, my next level of work, the work I have prepared for all my life, the work Jesus had told me about when I was nine years old would arrive. I figured that with that work, my income would be provided and all would be well.

I had known almost since arriving in Seattle that it wasn’t my home and I needed to leave, but I kept waiting for many reasons. My son was there, who was my best friend, and we were attempting to market workshops we wanted to do together. Then my Mom died, ending my birth family, and my life felt shattered. Then my son started leaving my life, ending up leaving it three times , has been gone for over 6 years this time, and my heart felt even more shattered. So with all of that, I didn’t have the strength to just pick up and leap, not knowing where to go. So I stayed and stayed.

Then, I kept waiting hoping for some financial windfall that would fund my leap, or an offer or opportunity to move to, but that didn’t happen either. But when things were grinding to a halt in my present job and changes were happening in my living space, it felt like Spirit was telling me to go. So…opportunity or not, windfall or not, I chose to leap.

People, who know me through facebook or friendship otherwise, tell me what an inspiration I’ve been to them, how courageous and brave I am, and one of my Mom’s best friends even said that as well. And for much of the time I can feel that, as I acknowledge how much healing has taken place within me and all the healing work I have done on the people I have been lead to stay with, not to mention weeding and cleaning and other tasks I have taken on in my temporary lodgings. I can also see how much this trip has prepared me for my future work as it has stripped away all but the essentials, and forced me to adapt quickly to many different home environments, physical environments, house rules, beds, cooking situations, etc. It has pushed me to challenge the paradigm that states we need to save up for a move, get another job, THEN we move, along with the one that states you pay rent everywhere you go, with cash, as I’ve often traded therapy for my spaces.

At times I struggle to explain this journey to others because how do you describe this mysterious “destiny” dictated to me 52 years ago and all the guidance, learning, studying, praying, and surrender it has taken me to get this far? I am challenged to define to others this unknown as yet home and opportunity that awaits me and is looking for me as much as I’m looking for it? It doesn’t fit into most people’s way of thinking. How do I demonstrate that things did shift on 12/21/12, and are continuing to shift, even though much isn’t apparent in outer reality?

Although I am very grateful for the friends and strangers who have opened their homes to me along the way, all the wonderful people I have met, the people who have donated to me or asked for therapy sessions along the way, and even the challenges I have undergone; in this moment, I am feeling weary, lonely, and uncertain. Yes, I know…all is well, everything is coming into place, stay in my heart, trust…blah blah. But I believe in owning what is mine, even if it is part of the illusion, and right now, I am desiring home, a community where I belong, meaningful work that allows me to share all my gifts and talents, friends whom I can share with who are in proximity to me and not just via emails, FB, and occasional phone calls. I do believe I can be in that place of gratitude and appreciation and yet, still acknowledge those places within me that desire a clear path, an open door, something substantial and clear.

Tomorrow I might be back in a place of excitement, anticipation and joy…but for right now, I’d love to be sitting with a friend, in my own home, in the community that has welcomed me and sharing stories of all the wonderful service I am able to do right now.

A girl can dream….and dreams do come true!

Book Review of RELUCTANT PILGRIM

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      I grew up with a Jewish Mother, who had become a Presbyterian, to fit in with my Presbyterian Dad. When I would go to my Presbyterian bible class for kids, I would tell of my psychic and spiritual experiences and they would assure me they weren’t real. I couldn’t understand this as the bible stories talked of Moses and the burning bush and he was revered and yet I had Jesus and the gang in my backyard and I wasn’t believed?!   I loved Jesus so much, and I loved God, never questioning any of my experiences until they were questioned and dismissed by my bible schoolteachers, parents and doctors.  It left me feeling sad and confused.  My parents were telling me to face reality all while taking me to church to supposedly believe what the teachers and bible told me and yet they denied my direct experience of Jesus and God.  It just didn’t make sense to me, nor did it honor me or support my spirituality.

 

So luckily, around age 8 or 9,I had the strength, courage and wherewithal to ask to leave their church and I began my journey through most of the Christian churches in our town and later, Quakerism, eastern religions, forays with the American Sikhs led by Yogi Bhajan, Rajneesh, Islam, New Thought Christian churches and my ongoing love of Dances of Universal peace and Sufism.  Dances of Universal Peace was created by Samuel Lewis, a Jewish rabbi, a student of Ruth St. Denis, the mother of modern dance and a student of Hazrat  Inayat Kahn, the man who brought Sufism to this country.  I grew up also surrounded by Native American influences and studied and attended many pueblo dances and Navajo ceremonies.

 

I still receive judgment from some as “living in darkness” and “not having Jesus in my heart”, which is amazing to me, as I have had direct experience with Jesus, have lived my life completely devoted to God and spirituality, even if it doesn’t fit the mold of traditional religions.  So it was with great relish that I dove into the book, Reluctant Pilgrim, by Enuma Okoro.  An African Catholic father and an African Christian mother raised Enuma in Africa and America.  She talks about her childhood fascination with crucifixes, her love for the ritual of communion, her deep love for Jesus and God and yet her ongoing struggle to really live as she sees a Christian should live…going to church regularly, being a part of a church community and even wanting to help the poor. She describes her attempts to find a church, her cringe worthy discomfort with helping the poor, and her other perceived shortcomings with sincerity, humor and even at times whining!  I loved her honesty and self-depreciating humor. In that way, she reminded me of another favorite author, Anne Lamott.  And what grounds this book is the fact that Enuma got degrees in religion, and yet still she struggled to find the path that honored her devotion and yet were in integrity with her needs.  Throughout it all she weaves in stories of her romantic life, career struggles, family strife and especially her female friendships that support and lift her up. At the end, it seems like she has found a “home” that truly does provide the comfort and belonging that she is seeking.

 

This book validated my sometimes strange to the world search to take my deep passion and devotion to God and find a place of belonging that honors my understanding and experiences. I know that  the work I am to do completely supports Jesus (Jeshua) and God.  It has been challenging, lonely and painful to travel this path often alone, often judged and rejected by even those closest to me, but still I have kept on because it is hardwired within me to surrender to this spiritual path.  So now, like Enuma, I am ready to dance in joy, in this space of belonging, serving God and humanity in the light, with love!

 

Katelon T. Jeffereys

Seattle Life Coach

www.empowerandbalance.com