Tag Archives: self awareness

We Create Our Own Reality….or….Do We?

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movie projector                                                 Image from one of my corporate training manuals. Katelon T. Jeffereys

For much of my adult life I have believed that we create our reality. My son got tired of me stating it every time he would complain about his circumstances. I taught it in my corporate and public workshops. I discussed it in a radio interview. This image above is one I used to talk about how the movie of our life is made up of the beliefs we hold about our self and life and then, these are projected onto the screen of our life, attracting the situations, circumstances and people/players to fulfill our script.

This last year or so though, I’ve been changing my mind about this.  I still believe we have a part in creating our lives, or certainly how we respond to our lives and the relationships and circumstances in it but I believe the equation is more complicated than just this simple statement implies.

A friend asked me about me not believing anymore that we create our own reality, referencing a lovely post I reblogged recently https://empowerandbalance.wordpress.com/2015/02/09/remembering-infinity-the-performance-of-a-lifetime/  Although I did enjoy that blog post so much I wanted to share it, I still believe things are a little more complicated than this.

As I’ve deepened my work to oust the dark ruling elite, to transfer the power to the light and freedom to humanity, I’ve learned more about how the dark and their technologies has impacted each soul’s creation of the life he/she is incarnating into and the path it will take him/her on.  In my Spiritual Response therapy work I’ve trained in and used since August 1997, I work with Spirit and my high self guidance team to research a person’s akashic records to find limiting programs, beliefs, contracts etc. they have set up, and then clear them so it provides a person freedom to now have the life of their choice.  So that training and work confirmed my what I now believe to be a simplistic view that each soul, in conjunction with Spirit, did indeed create their reality. I still find that work useful and use it everyday for myself, others and the work I’m doing now to oust the dark, but my understanding has expanded.  In learning about how the dark not only influences a person’s choices and planning work in the Bardo, while planning their upcoming incarnation, and the veil that they set up there to keep most people from being aware of their direct connection to Source and their true identity as a divine being, but also about all the technologies not only placed in humans but also directed at them through the water, food, air and airwaves, it became clearer and clearer that we don’t have full control of our lives.

As souls, we not only are bringing forward erroneous beliefs we’ve gathered through other lifetimes, beliefs about ourselves, life, the world, and how we will be treated/should be treated; we are also bringing forth dark contracts we may have agreed to, technologies placed in us by the dark in other lifetimes, erroneous beliefs embedded by the dark into governments/religions/philosophies, etc.  Souls who have worked to bring forth the light in other lifetimes have been particularly attacked and targeted by the dark ruling forces, so their limitations both internally, such as technologies and curses received, but also “choices” presented during the Bardo planning are especially limiting. And then, once they incarnate in this life, since the dark knows they will be losing their power, they have attacked the lightworkers even more, even using relationships and situations to attempt to stop the lightworkers’ efforts and outcomes and even at times, attempting to stop their lives.

I also feel that to state “You create your own reality” leaves out other people you are interacting with personally as well as all of humanity who is co-creating a situation.  I used to have friends, a couple, who were very much involved with the Course of Miracles. Although I had personally talked with Jesus, at age nine, and love him, this particular course material has never attracted me.  It did seem to attract quite a few people in my life though.  The husband in this couple continually had affairs out of the marriage.  The wife’s excuses for him were something to the effect of there was something wrong with her, something SHE was doing, to attract this behavior in him, giving him no reason to be accountable, no reason for him to take responsibility for his actions. Now granted, this willingness of hers to accept the full responsibility, and not hold him accountable certainly supports him not doing so, but to say it is ALL about her, is just ludicrous in my mind.  I had another friend who treated me so horribly that even her friends would shake their heads about how she treated me.  At one point, she actually said “I wonder what it is about YOU that makes me treat you so horribly?”  I had pretty much walked away from the friendship at that point, knowing I was worth more than how she was treating me.  Granted, I had much to heal at that point around my self esteem and self worth, but again, to take on that I was the cause of her acting so horribly, would have been inaccurate and not held her accountable for learning to be more kind to others and more honest about what was really going on within her.  In both cases, it seems to me that by excusing bad behavior, the people acting that way…the husband, and my ex-friend, it leads them to lose a chance for self growth and healing of their broken parts.

Also, because in all situations, whether it is something going on within us..our health or lack of it, emotional disturbances, relationships, or more community or world-wide situations, there are others involved…other factors (dark technologies, poisoned food and water, poisoned cultural and religious beliefs, etc.) and/or other people, and they, too, are busy “creating” with all that is within them and around them.

Perhaps once the shift happens, the light is in power, the veil is gone, the technologies are gone, we are consciously and fully connected to Source and our divinity, and manifesting everything we need (food, water, turquoise converse high tops …) out of thin air, perhaps then we will truly be creating our reality.  But even then, there will still be others involved in that equation, whether it is an intimate relationship or a world or a universe.

So…these are just my thoughts on this topic for now.

I still believe there is value in the understanding behind the above image though, as no matter what/who is creating my present reality, the more I heal and create more supportive beliefs and ways of viewing myself and my world, I certainly have much more of a chance of experiencing the kind of health, relationships, life and world that I desire, than if I continue to operate from a very limited script and back brain file of old reactions 🙂

So here’s to the light finally coming into Full Power, us being completely conscious of our divinity and power and all of us co-creating an amazing life for ourselves and an amazing world!  Time for rebirth!!!!

 

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Staying True In The Midst Of Other’s Perceptions!

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Throughout this almost year long journey I have been mostly staying in other people’s homes. Stepping into someone else’s home involves stepping into different house rules, perceptions, beliefs, needs, expectations and many of these are not overtly expressed. Some of the places I have stayed I have arranged through bartering my healing therapies, dog walking, cleaning, cooking, and organizing. among other skills. I’m not the best negotiator, as my nature is giving and generous, but my communication is clear, so I have done what I could to clearly and cleanly negotiate an arrangement that honored me as well as the other person. What I often found though, is that although I often give much more than is agreed upon, the other person would often change the agreement mid-stream, demanding more or even turning it around to make it appear that I hadn’t given enough?! This was always a shocking experience to me as I thought all had been clear in the beginning and as I stated, I always made sure I gave more than I had agreed upon.

I have always been a flexible, adaptable person, pretty easy going, and focused on being aware of others’ needs so as to keep things going smoothly. This journey though has led me into homes of hosts with almost OCD demands and house rules that even the most astute and dedicated house guest could not begin to adhere to or even decipher; homes of hosts living in their own words “just this side of disgusting” as far as cleanliness; homes of hosts that were controlling, raging alcoholics, noisy, quiet, outgoing, reclusive, vegetarians, meat eaters, and everything in between. Navigating all of these varied situations in addition to the different climates and cities to smaller towns has been quite challenging and stressful. And yet, I’m sure there has been a reason for this journey.

I know without a doubt that I have brought healing to so many people and areas because my recipients have acknowledged this, and I know that it has brought me healing and helped me stand in my power more and taught me to set better boundaries. Along with all this learning though, questions still remain.

I am presently staying with a warm, generous couple who love God, love Jesus, believe strongly in their beliefs and state that they don’t judge. And yet…..when I offer to do the healing work I have done since childhood, the work I was led to through my spiritual experiences with Jesus, my work is deemed unacceptable. When I have questioned why it was deemed acceptable that Jesus could do healing work and yet my work is deemed questionable, perhaps even coming from the dark, it is explained that ONLY Jesus could do healing work?! And yet, these people believe in prayer and manifestations they have received through this prayer, which is invoking God and Jesus. But healing work that is invoking Jesus and God’s energy that flows through all of us, is deemed darkness.

I feel so sad when I run into this belief system, as in my understanding, this very belief keeps people feeling separate from God, separate from that innate energy and light that Jesus spoke of so often and demonstrated. I try to not take it personally, and even have tried to point out to them how in-congruent it feels for them to state how much they like me and respect me and then deem my work misguided at the least and channeling darkness at the worst, but they just toss that off as untrue. I see that it is their closed minds and yes, hearts, that is keeping them from receiving all that I could be sharing with them, and I feel sad. As I know there are so many people in the world that live life this way, and it feels so small to me.

To be in the midst of these situations with others projecting their issues onto me, some people rejecting what I have to give or deeming it not enough, has certainly toughened me up in a way and helped me be more detached. It has also conversely helped me know my worth more. Some of the places I have stayed have been like sailing through the smoothest of waters and others have been like walking past walls of sand paper! I do trust though that each circumstance is leading me closer and closer to the deeper work that Jesus told me I was do when I was nine.

I thought I’d be doing it much sooner than this, and I’m sure I’ve been doing it somewhat throughout my life. However, there seems to have been a lot of preparation that was needed first and this journey has been that walk through the fire that was necessary.

I know that this part of the journey is almost over. I am grateful for all of it…and very much looking forward to landing in a soft spot of my own!

Peace, what are you giving and receiving?

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Time for an update and repost of this article I wrote several years ago, originally around a winter solstice time. Sadly, it is still appropriate.

As you read this, the US is still mired in war in the Middle East and now considering another one, and the question still remains for me, Peace? What are you giving and receiving? It has long been a belief, and a point of inquiry of mine, that what goes on within us is a microcosm of the greater reality reflected out into the world. And so, along with activism, I continue to look within to discover, embrace and heal those places within myself that are at war. It is my intention, inside and out, to do what I can to embody, give and receive peace in the world. In the ancient text, The Essence Gospel of Peace, it states “ Peace is the key to all knowledge, all mystery, all life.”

25 years ago I was living in a small Northern California coastal town. My neighborhood reminded me of the powerful novel SOMETIMES A GREAT NOTION, by Ken Kesey. As I’d take my daily walks through the fogged in neighborhood, I ‘d pass sign after sign impaled in the yards stating, “We support the timber industry”. The small communities lining the coast embodied the timber/environmental clash so vividly described in that novel.

Months before, I had been asked to be interviewed on a local women’s radio show. The topic I chose was “Inner Healing and how it relates to Global Healing”. At the time, I was working as a massage therapist in a chiropractor’s office. One of my clients was a young man who had moved out from the south to make peace buttons for a local company. Although his job and his political activism spoke of peace, the extreme tension I felt in his body spoke of an ongoing inner war. I began to observe this dichotomy in myself and other clients, along with the already divided community. The day the US declared war on Iraq ended up being the day of my interview.

As war broke out in that country, war broke out in my town as the local mayor and city council declared the town a draft free zone. Opponents stormed the town hall, an enormous American flag was erected upon the approach to town, and all the yard signs were replaced with new ones stating “We support America”…and…. we’re on the air, welcome Katelon to discuss “Inner Healing and how it relates to Global Healing.”

I felt like I was in the twilight zone and all the mayhem further underscored this study of mine. There I was witnessing war in the body of this young man, opposing views and near riots in our town hall, SOMETIMES A GREAT NOTION in my neighborhood and bombs dropping across the seas as a TV reporter stood next to a board drawing little x’s and o’s like a football play to explain the loss of life many countries away.

Over the years I have continued to explore this theme as I work to release old limiting patterns of lack, illnesses, and aloneness in myself. Sometimes I am able to love what is here, or what I perceive to be lacking, embrace the lessons and provide the gift of peace to myself, as I open the space for healing to happen. Other times I am in the ring, working on my left hook, ready to punch out the offending lack of fruition, career struggle or another Saturday night spent alone. A few years ago this occasional fighting position was literally put in my face as I took a detour to work. I ended up driving past a 7th grade fistfight in the middle of the road. Because I haven’t seen a fist fight since my 7th grade year, I was left to ponder again where am I at war in my own being, what am I fighting? Peace? What am I giving and receiving? As I examine this wrestling with my psyche I am seeing it on the outside again, too, as my neighbors, fellow countrymen/women and world members draw the lines and continue wars.

One of the therapies I do is called, Spiritual Response Therapy (SRT). In this therapy, I work with a person’s high self to research and clear negative programs, conditioning, beliefs, etc. that are limiting the person and restricting the flow of good through their bodies, relationships and lives. This work is done using a pendulum, dowsing various charts and connecting with the person’s high self to research the soul’s records. Whatever needs to be cleared is then identified and with the assistance of the high self and spirit, it is cleared. The limiting energies are then replaced with positive ones, moving a person out of self-punishment and self-limitation. Relationships can be researched as well, clearing destructive patterns that can be limiting the relationship and the individuals. Christ referred to this high self as “the father within”. Hawaiian Huna refers to it as Aumakua or higher consciousness. What is seen so often in this work is how much people limit themselves through their thoughts and judgments brought forth from (depending upon your belief system), past lives, genetic codes, world energies, childhood experiences and the entire creative process in itself.

A few years ago, a man called to ask me to use SRT to “GET RID” of a woman he was in business with. He explained how this woman was attempting to take over his business and he wanted her gone. I explained that I’m not a hit man but that I could work with his high self and spirit to clear them and their relationship, allowing for a new resolution. The work succeeded and the woman called him, with positive news and wanted to get together to find a healthy resolution they could both be comfortable with. Instead of rejoicing in this turn of events, he was so attached to his anger that he chided me for not getting rid of her. I felt saddened by his response, yet I was led to look at what I was just wanting to get rid of in my life, rather than be willing to negotiate with, forgive, and create a space for something new to appear? I had to look at where was I limiting myself? I inquired again, “Peace? What am I giving and receiving?”

I watch in childlike awe each year as the days get shorter and shorter and darkness descends, leaving sunshine, that I so love, a memory. And yet, I attune to the surrender of the trees as they gently release their leaves, plants die and seeds are deposited deep in the soil to wait and rest until the light comes again. Most of the world religions celebrate this return of the light. I think of Mary, in the Christian tradition, as she gestated a child within, holding that immaculate concept for him as she faced many outer challenges. Certainly, she must have felt the urge to fight, the call to struggle or defend. I certainly did as I carried my son, and then went on to raise him alone through all the challenges we faced. Don’t we all, whether we are carrying a child, a dream or concept? And, yet, each of us can carry this immaculate concept for our children, our dreams and desires. Each of us can carry that seed of peace and continue to hold it in our hearts for the world and ourselves.

The days may be dark, the world may talk of war and torture and try to keep us focused on fear and our desires/dreams/challenges may threaten to pull us into an inner or outer war and yet there are methods and therapies that we can use to release this inner negativity and replace it with harmony. I do believe that we have the power within us to return to love, just as yearly the days grow longer and the light returns. I do feel that each step we take toward negotiation, dialogue, healing and bridge building within ourselves, our families, our communities, does reach out and effect global change. So, I encourage you to ask yourselves, “Peace? What are you giving and receiving?”