I’ve been thinking a lot lately about love…loving myself, loving others, loving the world, loving what IS right now…on and on. I’ve been out of a relationship a long time, healing myself so that I could finally have a healthy, supportive relationship, SO that I could finally BE that healthy person in a loving relationship. I’ve been focused on this healing not just for a romantic partner relationship, but also for a loving family relationship, my work, and my true purpose this lifetime and for the world.
I’ve come to believe that this is the ONLY true work of our lifetime…learning to love ourselves, relaxing enough to let go of all the “stuff” that we erroneously believe about ourselves that we’ve carried forth from other lifetimes, been programmed with from childhood and society, this belief that we are separate from our divinity. If there is an original sin, I believe this is the apple we ate…this belief that we are anything other than divine and perfect.
I went to an NLP meet up yesterday and the guest speaker was Jack Elias, a local hypnotherapist/NLP master and teacher. He did some funny impersonations of how we catch a negative thought, latch onto it, and then use it to beat ourselves up with it. He pointed out how it is Nazi thinking in how what we do to ourselves is so horrific.
I have seen this in my son, my family, my friends, my clients, and myself. It affects our physical health, our relationships, our finances, and how we treat others as well. That is why I have written so much about healing ourselves and coming to peace within us, how that then creates a positive affect on the world and helps contribute to a more peaceful, loving world.
I’m sure you have experienced walking into a room where people have been angry or arguing with another. The negative energy is palpable. Since those emotions create chemical reactions in our body, you can understand how this affects our physical well-being. Masaru Emoto has demonstrated this with his water experiments, how thoughts change the form of the water crystals. Since a large percentage of our body is water, these negative thoughts directly affect our body. And like attracts like, so the more we focus on these negative thoughts and emotions, it seems like more show up to join the dance.
Here are a few techniques you can use to assist you in more deeply loving yourself and clearing the negative self-talk:
1. Yesterday, Jack Elias suggested you could just dance with it. Low self-esteem? Dance the low self-esteem dance…. dance free form, or waltz, or whatever, as you announce here you are feeling low self-esteem…. or whatever thought/feeling is up for you. Pay attention to what else shows up. Old memories that hold that emotion or belief for you, other beliefs that have supported that emotion, …whatever it is, just be inquisitive. This is an opportunity for healing and for releasing these negative emotions in a playful way.
2. Louise Hays suggests using affirmations and mirror work. I feel that affirmations can be powerful, if you pay attention to the “yeah buts” that often show up as you are saying the affirmations. Your conscious mind will be stating the affirmation “I deeply love myself” and your subconscious might spit up “oh yeah, that’s a crock of #! *+!”, or stuff you heard from your Mom, Dad, school mates….So pay attention to those, thank them for showing up, love them, too, and keep going. For mirror work, you can look into a mirror and state “I love you” “I appreciate you”, you can bow and say “Namaste” the God within me recognizes the God within you. You can use whatever phrases you need to hear. Your childhood is over, your past lives are over, (although really, the only time is now…. smile) so NOW is the time to be the loving parent to that wounded you and tell yourself all those things you needed to hear, are still needing to hear, and allow yourself to move to that place of owning self-love.
3. EFT, emotional freedom technique, is a great tool for shifting the negative self-talk and getting to more self-love. There are places you tap on acupuncture meridian points that physically free up energy that has been held stuck there due to trauma, stress and holding patterns. EFT starts with a set up phrase that accepts and loves where you are right now….”Even though I am beating myself up right now, I deeply and completely love and accept myself” and you can add…”And I am willing to be open to learning to love myself now”. That phrase is done while taking the little finger side of one hand and using a “karate chop” motion on the little finger side of the other hand. You state it three times. Then you move on to the various acupuncture points on your body and head, tapping and stating what seems to be real right now….”beating myself up, feeling like crap, no one loves me, I don’t even love me”, just allowing yourself to be with what you are feeling and thinking right now and then you can move to more positive statements “well, there is that one friend that loves me, sometimes I love myself, what would it be like if I could really love myself?, I like that feeling, “…on and on, until you feel a shift. Then breathe deeply. Other thoughts, emotions and beliefs might come up and then you can tap on them.
4. David Spangler talked of a wonderful practice of bringing “you” out to sit in front of you. Then think of something or someone you feel love and appreciation for and fill yourself up with that. Then you can pour that love and appreciation into that “you” in front of you, until that “you” is filled up and overflowing. Then you can bring that “you” back into your body and feel the difference. This is a very gentle practice and very powerful.
5. You can sit in what is called a whole brain posture, a variation of the “cook’s hook up” energy medicine posture. You cross your right ankle over your left, sitting or laying down, and then cross your left wrist over your right wrist, turn your hands so they face each other and clasp your hands together. You can start with a release statement, thinking to yourself whatever negative emotion is running for you at the moment, “I’m now releasing all worry, fear and self-judgment”. Keep saying it to yourself as you breathe and hold this posture. Then when it feels like you are finished, unclasp your hands and uncross your ankles. Place your fingertips together like you are holding a ball, and breathe. This brings both hemispheres of the brain together to support this belief and release the negative. You can then do the exercise again and use a positive statement ” I now deeply appreciate myself just as I am”, same posture, and same two steps. Psych-K and other energy techniques use this hold.
If you want more information about any of these techniques, there is more information about these people and techniques on the Internet. I have simply been paraphrasing their techniques. Also, I have several meditations and techniques on my website for free. If you have any questions or would like some help, I would love to assist you in clearing anything limiting you from truly seeing what a beautiful and blessed being you are and all that you bring to the world. This has been my work for over 30 years and I am trained in and have studied many therapies and techniques. It is an honor to serve you in this way.
Let’s fill up this world with love, person by person until we have claimed the truth of heaven on earth!
Katelon T. Jeffereys
Seattle Life Coach
Photo by Nancy Merryl