Awhile ago I promised a blog post about more ways the dark interferes with us and keeps people attached to the matrix. The work I’ve been doing daily, sometimes 2 to 3 times a day, with my spiritual work partner, John, has gone so far out and gotten so extensive, that I haven’t had extra energy to do much else. The good news is that we have been successful in clearing more and more of the path so that the Shift into the light can happen.
What I want to talk about today is Near Death Experiences, often shortened as NDE’s. Here is a description of the NDE I had in the fall of 1986.
I had ended up with an intense asthma attack, in the afternoon, and by evening it just kept getting worse. My teenage son was asleep by the time I realized I had to go to the emergency room. I decided to drive myself, although I was in such bad shape, I probably should have taken an ambulance. I woke my son up to let him know I was taking off, something he forgot by the next morning.
I called the emergency room ahead of time, and told them how I was so they’d be ready for me. I drove myself to the hospital, hunched over the steering will, barely breathing. Throughout my lifetime, there had been such a disconnect between the spiritual experience I’d had with Jesus, at age 8 or 9, telling me what I was here to do, and all my other spiritual experiences, and the so called reality of what a struggle my life was and how alone I felt. This had led me to feel suicidal off and on, not overtly attempting it, but feeling hopeless. All the way to the hospital, I knew that it was up to me, that nothing the doctors did would keep me alive, or not, that it was going to be my choice. All the way there, I argued with myself as I knew I could easily die; it was up to me to choose to take the opportunity to die, or to choose to live.
I got to the parking lot, built on a slight hill. I struggled to walk up the parking lot and into the emergency room. Once I walked in through the doors, the doctors and nurses panicked as they saw how badly off I was and how I was barely breathing. They whisked me into an emergency room and started pumping me with drugs, attempting to save my life. I grew up in emergency rooms and had had a previous near death experience but this one was different. I kept leaving my body. I’d zoom out, feel myself out of my body, and stepping into this amazing expansiveness. Then, I’d be yanked back into my body and need to defecate….a first for me in the ER. Then, I’d find myself out of my body again, stepping into expansiveness….then I’d be yanked back and need to vomit…again a first. This kept happening several times. When I’d come back into my body I could hear the doctors and nurses very agitated, hearing their alarm at my condition. In the past, no matter how severe my attacks were, I was always very conscious. This time was much different.
At some point, they were able to stabilize me enough to set me up in a room. I was in Tucson, AZ and the room had this large picture window looking out at the sacred Santa Catalina mountains. I was still struggling to breathe so I didn’t want to lean back even an inch. I took the rolling tray table, asked for more pillows and piled up the pillows on top of the table, until I could barely lean forward, with one arm curved up on the top pillow, my head turned to the side,and looking out the window. I saw myself outside the window, as a spirit. It was like I was “Miss America”, as I paraded up and down this walkway, with other spirits on either side of the walkway. They’d hand me roses and they were all cheering, congratulating me for choosing life. The entire scene was like watching a TV screen and it went on and on for quite awhile. I’d always questioned the “near death experience” as I didn’t go to the light, I went to “expansiveness”. Now I see that I was dying, stepping into Oneness.
I discussed this experience with John because I had always questioned whether it was truly an NDE or not, as I didn’t see a light, a tunnel of light, etc. …all the attributes most others have reported in their NDE. I knew I had almost died but somehow I felt like I had flunked my NDE 🙂 John saw my description as something he had long wondered about. In our sessions, we have sometimes run across souls that got trapped in the matrix, lifetime after lifetime. John had realized that the matrix uses this light at the end of the tunnel to ensnare souls back into the matrix, rather than the soul returning to its monad to rest and learn until its next incarnation. Just as the dark has manipulated most religions, corrupting them to keep souls dis-empowered and disconnected from Source and Source within them, the dark created this false light to trick souls into following it back into the matrix. So it’s possible that those who report going to the light, but returning to their lives on earth, have actually escaped not only dying but also being trapped in the matrix. Perhaps it is Source that has returned them to life by preventing this detour to the matrix and a lifetime of living that corrupted way.
In doing this work with John I’ve had to let go of several of the rituals and beliefs that I had formed my life around, as I found out how much the dark and the matrix have corrupted so many aspects of life, and how propaganda is so pervasive. What remained of my rose colored glasses has been stripped off completely as I had to face how the dark had given John and I misinformation in some of the work we’ve done together over the years. I’ve also had to let go of many spiritual teachers whose videos and messages I used to enjoy but now see they have been compromised too much.
Soon we will have full disclosure and all truth will be revealed. It will be wonderful to have light-based trustworthy information!
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